Choices

So I dont post about crap like this very often, this blog is a way for people to keep up on the cute kiddos in the Brady household and some occassional venting by mom, not to hear opinionated lectures by a 27 yr old mom of two boys who has a limited amount of life experience. But, this has become my new motto lately, in every day life, having to do with pretty much everything around me. Agree or disagree, its an opinion, not a fact, so no one take this personally or get offended.

I feel like when I became a mom, at the mere age of 21, I had alot of crap to sort through and things to deal with. I was the only one out of my friends who had a kid now. I got misunderstood alot, not many understood what it was like to have a kid and took it real personally when i couldnt do the things I did nine months prior. I made alot of new friends, simply becasue we had things in common (kids, spouses, homes, bills, parenting). While some (not all) friendships dwindled, others flourished, and that was ok. I came to a realization that my life was different at that point. I had other priorities, Luke and my kids came first, not random night outings and parties and trips to vegas. I met lots of new people, some people that didnt want to make the effort, some that just ignored you, some that just treated people like downright crap. This was the exact person i did NOT want to be, I didnt want to make people feel the way I did when around these people. I turned my focus to trying to be nice to everyone (until they gave me a good reason not to be then you got the bitch side of me cuz if you know me, I will not be taken advantage of or walked all over and I will stand up for myself and tell you how it is). I wanted to include everyone and make everyone feel welcome and quit having these stupid across the room glares and cliques and pettiness. I put so much time and effort into some of these relationships that simply didnt deserve it. Maybe it was the challenge? I dont really know. But when you do that for so long just to be basically dumped on, when do you finally throw in the towel and say screw it!!! Why do these people deserve your friendship when its never reciprocated, and you know they really dont give a rats ass about you, even if they try to fake it. Its like theyre socially retarded. You dont have to like everyone, and some people get closer than others, but for gods sake, give people a chance! Treat people like you want to be treated. Trust me, I can be a bitch, Ill tell you how it is, and some people hate that, thats fine by me. Id rather have someone tell me how it is then be fake for so many years. Thats just me.

I have all these relationships with so many different types of people, each special in their own way :) Ive come to appreciate them so much especially when you get to this time in your life when your main focus is your family.... I want my kids to grow up with happy loving parents, surrounded by great friends and family, people that truly care about them. I feel like we have done a pretty good job at that so far. So this last week, Ive realized, I have to stop trying and putting effort into these people that I will never win with, and honestly dont even really like at this point after being shunned so many times. Refocus it to the people that you know reciprocate your friendship, and actually appreciate you. I have tons of those people in my life, and its the little things that they do for me, and for my kids, that make me truly appreciate their friendship. Sure they arent perfect, they all have flaws, as do I. No ones perfect. But they show me the same degree of friendship that I show them. So Ive made a choice... a choice to be a better friend to those who care about me, and although I will quit trying and putting effort into them I will be civil to the ones who dont, and redirect all that effort into relationships that mean the most.

So long story long.... Today everytime my kids got outta line we had a talk about whether they were making bad choices or good choices. They knew right away what was right and wrong... and 9 times out of ten made the good choice. A simple kindergarden lesson, right?! Choices are going to be another way of discipline in this house now. Stupid as it may sound, after Jackson gave Wyatt his lecture on bad choices and good choices the other day, it made me think about these things. And Jacks right. My five year old taught me that I always have a choice. Which choice I make is solely up to me.

Life is a choice. I dont believe that everything is based on fate, or Karma or that someone above is holding your future in their hands and they have a plan for you or anything like that. You are who you are because that is who you choose to be. Sure things may have happened in your past to help you be who you are but it doesnt mean it cant be changed. Who you choose to be and what you choose to do will determine alot about your future. You choose the people you surround yourself with, you choose whether or not to be a good person, a good friend, you choose how to raise your kids, how to act around your kids, how to treat your kids. How to act towards your husband or wife, mom or dad. You choose what you eat, what you wear, how you present yourself. You choose what youre gonna do with your day, with your time. You choose what is most important and least important. You choose your priorities, and how to manage those priorities. And most of all you can choose how to change things in your life to make it better for you, and your family, or the people you care about. Life is a choice, its just up to you to make the right ones for you at the time. You live and you learn..... And then you make more choices.